October 6 - The kitchen sink and logical friends

As previously noted, there are no news entries in my sixth grade journal until October 11. I discovered last night, much to my horror, that there are also no entries in the third grade journal until October 16. You know what that means: a buffet of my ingenious so-called “bonus entries.” Make sure to buckle your seatbelts, kids. Let’s gooooooo.

BONUS ENTRY: Third Grade Journal - September 6, 1991
Today is Sept 6 Today has been a great day¹. we are going to go to gym and reading time and libriry²

¹ – More good days in the third grade. When I remember the hubbub about the institution of the primary system when I was in third grade, I keep expecting to look back and see that I was upset about having to spend time with a bunch of first and second graders instead of being in third grade with my friends. More on this later, I’m sure.
² – What a day, huh? I don’t remember having time set aside for reading time in elementary school, but as long as it is alongside gym and the “libriry,” I’m still down.

BONUS ENTRY: Sixth Grade Journal – September 2, 1994
I remember³ when I was young enough to take baths in the kitchen sink⁴.

³ – Here, I chronicle one of the weird “memories” that sort of prompted the larger, faux-philosophical goal of this blog. I don’t know if I actually remember these early memories, if I remember that I used to remember them (follow me here), or if I have just invented memories for myself. I can only assume that other people think about this kind of stuff.
⁴ – Beside this entry, Mrs Robertson wrote, “Do you really remember that long ago? You must have a very good memory!” Yes, she did underline the “really” there. I like how she basically implies that I’m lying and then tries to balance the accusation with a vague compliment. This is a familiar tactic.

BONUS ENTRY: Eighth Grade Journal – September 3, 1996⁵
Then Brad, Jenni, Tasha, Eileen, Kelleman, And Rucinski Limped Away. “You Stupid Morons, You Suck⁶!” Miller Yelled. We Went Back To Our New House. “They Are So Dumb, We Kick Their Butts All The Time, But They Dont Give Up.” Hearne Said⁷. We Rested For Most Of The Day, Until A Loud Screaming Outside Woke All Of Us Up. “What The Heck Was That⁸?” I Yelled. “Let’s Get Out Of Here, Grab Your Stuff.” Nate Said. We Went Through The Back And Nate Hopped On Flare⁹. “Get On!” Nate Yelled. “Oh Crap!” Miller Said. We Shot Up In The Air.

⁵ – In case you didn’t notice, this is finally a new entry. I told you that was a long one.
⁶ – A well-reasoned argument, I feel.
⁷ – And also observant. I had some smart friends at this time. Ahead of the curve for eighth graders, for sure.
⁸ – Suspense. I build it.
⁹ – Yeah, this is the weird dragon you might remember from before. Prepare for an intense battle…next time!