October 10 - More fun stuff and Jay Wonn

As usual, you have no idea how sorry I am that I didn’t update yesterday. You’ll be happy to know that I divided my time between reading a few poems, watching Degrassi (the new season started Friday!), eating chili, and playing poker. I am aware that my priorities are out of order.

Sixth Grade ALP Journal – October 10, 1994
Today we did a lot of fun stuff¹
FUN
FUN
FUN²

¹ – Again: clearly so fun that it couldn’t be recorded. Secret fun!
² – Each of these “FUN” declarations was written on the top line of a following page. I don’t know if they were actually a part of this entry, and I’m not sure why I would just write “FUN,” turn the page, write “FUN” again, and so on. The complexity is difficult to grasp.

BONUS ENTRY: Third Grade Journal – September 9, 1991
Today is Sept 9 Today I might go over to Jay Wonn’s³ or He might come over to my house. Boy, that would really fun. I like Jay Wonn because he is really nice and not bosy⁴. But sometimes We get into fights⁵. THE END⁶.

³ – Jay was my best friend until I went to middle school. After that, we pretty much turned into polar opposites. Sad.
⁴ – Not to diss Jay or anything, but I don’t remember liking him for these reasons. I mean I’m sure he was nice, but not “bosy?” I’m not so sure.
⁵ – A complicated relationship, obviously. I remember getting into a fight with him around this time when we were playing Punch-Out (note; I never had Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, only the version with Mr Dream). I finally defeated Piston Honda, who gave us a ridiculous amount of trouble, and I gave him the controller so that he could fight the next opponent. He got destroyed by Don Flamenco because he couldn’t figure out the “trick” to beating him, and insisted that he should get to go again until he won. I obviously took issue with that, and we starting punching each other.
⁶ – This is written in approximately size 400 font.

BONUS ENTRY: Eighth Grade Journal – September 3, 1996 (continued)
I Picked Up Luan And We Ran Around The House. “On The Count of 3, Cover Your Eyes. One…. Two….. THREE, MidNight⁷!” I Yelled. In A Flash Our Enemies Were On The Ground In Pain. “Attack!” Nate Yelled. As I Hit People With Luan He Still Went, “Hulk Smash⁸!” And It Was Getting Annoying⁹. Soon They Were All Down. “Were’s The Rest?” Hearne Asked. “Flare!” Miller Said. We Went Around The House To See Flare Slaughtering Some Of Those Guys¹⁰. “Cool.” Hearne Said. “Ready To Go?” Hearne Said. Blaze Flew Up Into The Air. We Flew And Saw Another Hut. Kelleman Stepped Out. “Burn It, Flare!” Miller Said¹¹. “Cool!” Hearne Said¹². A Fireball Exploded The Hut As They Jumped Out.

⁷ – Oh, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about this mess.
⁸ – Naturally. I mean, why wouldn’t he?
⁹ – Ah yes, annoying. I was starting to think that Annoyance wouldn’t have anything annoying in it. Wait, what the hell am I talking about?
¹⁰ – A nice image. Young Guy, you are an artist and a craftsman.
¹¹ – Such a great reaction, and one that also speaks to some clear neurosis I had (ideally) in younger days. I never saw anything like Annoyance when I was a substitute teacher in Lexington, but it’s hard for me to imagine responding positively to a story where a kid reacts to seeing his friend walk outside by instructing a dragon to burn the house down. Awesome.
¹² – And Miller wasn’t the only one excited about it.