October 3 - A new song and an unbreakable staff

As I mentioned last time, I found that the steno notebook that includes my fourth grade ALP journal also includes entries from fifth and sixth grade. This will help to keep me from either shortening the entries or including less interesting material (assuming that the material is interesting in the first place). At some point I will introduce you to Robot, my delightfully inferior rip-off of a character created by Ben Ross that is the closest thing to an active journal from the last four years of my life. Anticipation!

Third Grade Journal – October 2, 1991
Today is Oct 2 Today we learned A new song¹ called down by the bay and it goes like this down by the bay were the watermelons grew² END

¹ – Does anyone else remember being taught songs in elementary school? My music class didn’t involve singing, so I’m kind of confused by this.

² – That’s just great songwriting. I mean who doesn’t want to sing about bays and watermelons?

Sixth Grade ALP Journal – October 3, 1994
A.L.P. computer class is very fun when you play games³.

³ – Obviously an intelligent statement. But it’s also telling, because clearly I had very conflicted feelings about ALP, even in sixth grade. By this point I had been going to ALP with the same group for two years, but I guess I only looked at it as an escape from the day-to-day operation at my elementary school. It takes games for me to be excited!

BONUS ENTRY: Sixth Grade Journal - September 1, 1994
Today I have Advanced Youth Education at 3:30⁴.

⁴ – You’ll never guess what Mrs Robertson wrote after this entry. If you guessed, “I’d like to read more about Advanced Youth Education,” then you got it. Wait, you got it? This is rigged.

BONUS ENTRY: Eighth Grade Journal – August 30, 1996 (continued)
Various Weapons Were Laying On The Ground. “I’ll Break That Dumb Stick⁵.” Brad Said. “Whatever.” I Said. I Threw My Staff To Brad. He Bashed It Against The Wall 20 Or 30 Times And Struck It With All The Weapons⁶. “What The⁷ Is This Made Of?” Calvert Said. Then Prepared To Use It As A Weapon⁸. “Now I’ll Show You How Hard It Is!” Brad Said. “No, But I Can Get It Back Without Touched You. Seatamo Bode⁹.” I Said. My Staff Levitated Out Of Brad’s Hand’s And Into Mine¹⁰.

⁵ – Calling my staff a dumb stick? I mean come on, bro. Not cool.
⁶ – Those interested in learning about story pacing: reread this sentence. Just imagine that you’re watching a great, intense movie, and then right before the big fight one guy grabs a staff, hits it against a wall thirty times, and then hits it with an entire room full of weapons (to no avail). Wouldn’t that be exciting?
⁷ – Clearly there are two real possibilities for what happened here. The first is that I got ahead of myself and accidentally added “The.” The second is that I really wanted to drop a four letter word here but decided that my teacher might not be too thrilled with that idea.
⁸ – Sentence fragment! Clearly my interest in using tons of commas didn’t develop until later.
⁹ – Another well-crafted spell chant. This is the one area where JK Rowling may have outdone Annoyance. I will give her that.
¹⁰ – Yes, I decided to include an entire section from Annoyance dedicated to a staff. Clearly this was a mistake.

Obviously, it goes without saying that I am incredibly sorry that I didn't update yesterday. I won't bore you with tales of nausea and dizziness, though, I prefer to bore you with tales of Ashland Youth Education and unbreakable staffs.