July 30, 2010

July 30, 2010 - A history of music

Tomorrow night, I have tickets to go see Yo La Tengo in concert in Newport, Kentucky. This will mark the second occasion that I have gotten to see a band that has been my “favorite” at some point in my life. As a side note, assuming that everything goes as planned, this will bring my rate of successfully attending a concert by one of these select groups to a disappointing 28.57% (due to a missed show in 2004, no-shows or cancellations by lames in 2006, 2007, and 2008, and a soul-crushing sellout in 2007).


Anyhow, this promising development gave me the idea of attempting to chart the changes in my favorite musical groups over the years, which then (of course) prompted me to think about developing similar lists for favorite authors, films, etc. I can’t think of many other similarly awesome lists to do at present, but I hope you will understand learning about how my tastes have changes and discovering awesome and potentially embarrassing realities (such as the second entry under “Favorite musical groups,” which, by reading this, you agree to never mention to anyone in public or private without my expressed written consent). So, please enjoy!



Favorite musical groups

1990-1994: Michael Jackson

I’m confident that you recognize, as I do, that this doesn’t really need much explanation. The regrettable part of this period was that the first MJ single I purchased (yes, I was one of the idiots buying singles) was “Black or White.” Nevertheless, without this crucial first step everything – and I mean everything – would have been very different.


1994-1995: C+C Music Factory

The explanation for C+C Music Factory is twofold. First, the music I owned was largely limited to hand-me-downs I got from my older sister, so this isn’t so much a reflection of my taste as an indication of what I had to work with in simpler times. Second, I had a ping pong table in my basement, and nothing makes for a better soundtrack during serious table tennis competition than “Gonna Make You Sweat.”


1995-1997: Jimi Hendrix

My taste for Hendrix has changed a lot over the years – I’m one of the only people you’ll find who likes Axis: Bold as Love more than Are You Experienced – but few things can surpass popping in Hendrix for the first time and hearing the first riffs of “Purple Haze.”


1997-1999: ZZ Top

Best memory of ZZ Top? Driving down the highway with the windows down, wearing sunglasses (note: if you know me at all, you know that I never wear sunglasses), listening to “La Grange” with my Dad. Awesome. Only later did I realize that all ZZ Top lyrics were full of sexual references that can’t be called innuendo by any stretch of the imagination. Oh, the bliss of youth.


1999-2002: Weezer

One day I went to a concert at my high school, and one of my classmates played a cover of “No One Else.” I asked him about it, and he told me to buy their blue album. I was totally hooked. I’ve since come to have a more begrudging relationship with Weezer, but I still think the blue album is pretty good.


2002-2003: Foo Fighters

This is probably my only delusional entry on this list, since I not only purchased albums like One by One but also convinced myself that they were very good. This is not to say that Foo Fighters are bad, but I’m certainly glad that this period came to an end.


2003-2005: The Roots

Enter Hendrik (note: not Hendrix). It took me a while to accept his sometimes overwhelming willingness to share new music with me, but the fact that I became a hip hop fan is owed largely to my exposure to The Roots. Here’s a free tip: start your friends off with “Clones” off of Illadelphia Halflife. It worked on me.


2005-2007: The Beach Boys

The truth is The Beach Boys were probably never my favorite band, but I have always felt that they were remarkably underappreciated as musicians. Even to this day my family complains when I play Pet Sounds (I mean honestly, how the hell can anyone complain about Pet Sounds?) instead of Surfin’ USA or All Summer Long. Appreciate The Beach Boys, dammit. That’s an order.


2007-2009: Yo La Tengo

Yo La Tengo really blew me away, and it was all thanks to Hendrik, who shared “Return to Hot Chicken” (from I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One) with me when I was in the midst of making an album of instrumentals for my sister. If I made a list of my favorite 500 songs (hey, now there’s an idea!), Yo La Tengo would have the most songs on it by a pretty sizeable margin.


2009-present: Pixies

In a strange reversal of fortune, I was lucky enough to see the Pixies (yes, I can’t write their name without a “the” in front, it sounds too stupid) before they really became my “favorite” band. First it was just listening to certain songs (“Gigantic” or “Where Is My Mind” or “Debaser”), then it was listening to albums, and now I even buy collections of b-sides (which, again, you might know to be something that I don’t really do). And best of all? I’ve seen them live.



Special Bonus! Favorite Jackson 5 songs

2000-2004: “ABC”

In the name of full disclosure, I should say that the 2000 starting date (as with the 1990 starting date for the previous list) is relatively arbitrary because it’s hard to pick a true starting point for such things. In this case, I can’t honestly say that I really “listened to” The Jackson 5 before the year 2000. As for the song…well…is there anyone whose initial favorite Jackson 5 song was anything other than “ABC?” I didn’t think so.


2004-2005: “The Love You Save”

This entry is undoubtedly the weakest of the list, and I almost think that I chose this as my favorite song during this period because it was relatively unknown and unpopular (yeah, I was that guy). This song was highly important, however, because it was in heavy rotation during the days when I rode my bike to school singing awesome Motown tracks. I like to think that I was a minor celebrity during that time.


2005-2006: “I Want You Back”

Is there a better film montage song? Well, ignoring “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates, I think not. The list of pop songs that are even one-tenth as good as this one is a short one. If you don’t get excited when the keyboard kicks off this gem, then I contend that you are some sort of humanoid alien or a sophisticated cyborg. If you are either of those things, please inform me before the revolution begins.


2006-2008: “I Wanna Be Where You Are”

The fact that I didn’t love this song before 2006 is evidence of one of my old album-listening shortfalls. This is the fifteenth track on The Ultimate Collection, so I never gave it the attention it deserved, instead cycling back-and-forth between the first ten songs. If you’ve ever heard this song, you know that mine was a terrible mistake. Also, there seems to be some dispute about whether or not this song is just Michael (that is, with the rest of the 5). If you listen to the link above - hopefully ignoring the typo in the video title - I think you'll see that it's no solo job.


2008-present: “It’s Great to Be Here”

The truth? The only reason I know about this song is because it is sampled during Notorious BIG’s verse on the remix of “It’s All About the Benjamins.” Finding this song was a huge revelation to me, and if I owe Puff Daddy my gratitude for anything, it is for this. Really, all I can say about this song is that it is really, really good. Honestly, has there ever been a better popular music vocalist than young Michael Jackson?

July 29, 2010

July 29, 2010 - I'll fight him for three

By way of a short introduction to this update, I just want to say that I really don’t have a good idea for what I should do with this blog moving forward. Perhaps I did a poor job pacing myself and should have stuck to only one journal entry per update, but the reality is that all I have left to share with you (other than the passive-aggressive judgments of my robot cartoons) is the contents of my eight grade journal. I really wanted to update before July because I didn’t want to go through a whole month without producing anything, but I’m also not sure where to go from here. I do hope that you enjoy whatever I decide to do, however, and I hope you continue to visit and consider sharing with other people who like cool and weird stuff. I mean honestly, you know that this should really be a web sensation by now. With your help, we can do it. Huzzah!



Eight Grade Journal – September 9, 1996 (continued)

I Picked Up A Sword And Fought A Knight In My Spell1. “Prepare to Die!” The Knight Yelled. He Swiped At Me And I Backed Away. Soon He Had Me Cornered. He Hoisted His Word High Above His Head2. I Took The Chance And Pushed The Sword Deep Into His Chest3. I Pulled It Out and The Knight Vanished. “Cool. I Kicked His Butt.” I Said. Then One Of Those Little Thief Guys Leaped At Me And Stabbed Me In The Leg With His Dagger4. I Sliced Of His Arm And He Fell Down5. I Then Rammed My Sword Into His Stomach. I Limped To Get My Staff As He Disappeared. Then I Realized That The Next Guy Would Be That Strong Dude6. “Oh Crap!!” I Yelled And Tried To Speed Up. I Fell Down7 and Saw Him Appear Between Me And My Staff. He Raised His Arms. I Rolled As He Smashed The Floor With His Punch. I Ran Through The House Trying To Find Luan. “Luan!! Come Here Now8!!” I Screamed. “What Is It Guy9?” Luan Asked. Then He Morphed Into Knightbringer. I Picked Him Up And Went Looking For The Guy.


1When we last left off, I had done my friends a favor by using by wizardly powers to conjure up foes to fight and possibly maim them. Inexplicably, however, I decide in this installment to combat said foes myself, which strikes as an uncharacteristic and terrible idea.

2That doesn’t seem like a great strategy…

3And that’s precisely why. In his defense, however, the only combat tactic I had shown until this point consisted of running away (but obviously not in a terrified or scared manner), so he was probably going by the scouting report. Clearly this is the time when I take over at the dominant offensive force we all know me to be.

4Remember, this is what those beasts were supposed to look like, so it’s worse than it might seem.

5That is, I Sliced Off His Arm… I readily slice both arms and the English language.

6Not That Strong Dude! Yeah…sometimes the creative juices just aren’t flowing.

7What the hell is this, Friday the 13th? This isn’t a horror movie, there will be no falling down. It’s beyond cliché at this point.

8Yeah, come here so that you can turn into a mace that I can use to smash dudes in the face! You know, the usual!

9Honestly, he should probably be used to this by now.