Eighth Grade Journal – September 5, 1996 (continued)
Another Dragon Attacked. “Josh, Behind You!” I Yelled. “My Sword Is Caught In My Holster1. I Can’t Get It Out!” Hearne Yelled. I Tossed A Small Sword To Josh. Suddenly The Dragon Fell Down. I Saw That Kelleman Had Killed It With His Dagger2. Then I Saw A Huge Dragon Behind Chris. I Ran To The Dead Dragon, Pulled Out The Dagger And Threw It At The Giant Dragon. It Hit It’s Stomach3 And It Flew At Me. Then A Green Blast Hit The Dragon And Sent It To The Ground4. Hearne Walked Over And It Tried To Get Up, But Seemed To Be Pinned By A Force. He Finished It Off With One Final Swoop5. I Slowly Got Up. “Looks Like The Truce Worked,” I Said, “You Guys Can Stay In The House By Ours6.”
For The Next Couple Of Days I Rested Because Of My Shoulder7. It Gave Me Chance To Learn More Spells……And Use Them On People8! “Hey Kelleman, Come Here.” I Said. “What Is It?” He Asked. “This! Impto Beemto Queerio Fro9!!” I Said. Kelleman Smashed Through The Ceiling And Came Back Down Through The Floor10. “HaHaHaHa!!” I Laughed So Hard. After A While I Got Tired Of Just Setting Around11, So I Trained My Sword Work With Nate And Hearne. “Guy, Try to Block It! Don’t Just Run12!” Hearne Said. He Attacked And I Couldn’t Stop Him. I Fell Down And Ran Over Me13. “Dang It Man! That’s It!” I Yelled. I Walked Out Of The Room. “Where’s He Going?” Nate Asked. Seconds Later I Walked Back In With My Staff. “My Turn!” I Said. “Oh Crap!” Hearne Yelled And Turned To Run14.
1 – I guess it’s conceivable to keep a sword in a holster. Even though, it doesn’t seem likely that a sword could get stuck in a holster. Also, I can now let you know that a Google Image Search for “sword holster” will reveal quite a few nerds.
2 – What a guy that Kelleman is. Maybe he’s not such a bad dude after all???? Intrigue!
3 – That is, it hit its stomach.
4 – This doesn’t really seem to be explained, so there’s not much I can tell you. I’m sure you’ve had mysterious green blasts save you when you’ve been in a pickle before. Don’t pretend it never happens.
5 – Ruthless. I still call this guy my friend even though he will murder a defenseless dragon.
6 – I mean, who wouldn’t want to invite your worst enemies (regardless of whether or not there is a “truce”) to live right next to you? I’m glad that I’m the one making these kinds of decisions. This clearly is not a democracy.
7 – You know, the wound I got because I dropped my crossbow while fighting a dragon, causing the weapon to misfire and shoot a bolt into my shoulder? Yeah, that’s the one. Also: that’s not a mistake, there is a real paragraph break right there. Shocking, I know.
8 – Why wouldn’t you antagonize and attack people when you’re lying around in a relatively defenseless, incapacitated state? Smart!
9 – Clearly coming up with these spell names was one of my strengths as a writer. I should switch back to magic-driven fantasy fiction instead of writing about people and feelings and stuff. There’s little place for gems like “Impto Beemto Queerio Fro” in plain old non-genre fiction. Sad.
10 – Seems like kind of a waste to practice a spell with such a silly awesome name when all it does is throw a person around a little. I’m not really a sadist, but I expect something a little more devastating.
11 – That is, just sitting around.
12 – That’s me: coward extraordinaire. First I’m such a badass that no one but me can hurt me, then I can’t even practice with my friends. That’s a well-conceived character arc.
13 – I’m not confident enough to do the “That is” routine I’ve established, but my best guess is that Josh ran over me after I fell down. What a friend!
Shall I tell you? It's the least I can do. Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger!
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