March 15, 2010 - No more Reggie Miller

Third Grade Journal – March 6, 1993

My favorite kind of pizza is a six cheese pizza¹ or a pizza with extra cheese, pepperoni, and sausage². My favorite places are Pizza Hut³

¹ – These days I’m not sure how I feel about a six-cheese pizza. Can you really name six cheeses that you’d want to have on a pizza, let alone at the same time? I sure can’t.

² – Now that sounds delightful. It sounds both failsafe and delicious.

³ – If this list had continued, I’m sure Mr Gatti’s would have soon followed. Pizza Hut does have the best breadsticks, though.

Third Grade Journal – March 9, 1993

Sunny with a 95% chance of Pizza⁴. Once upon atime in Maine something weird happened all of the people went poor⁵. But the next Tony Cavalier⁶ said it was sunny with a 95% chance of Pizza⁷. The town jumped with Joy. And For They next 3 days it would be Rainy with a chance of strawberries and ceareal⁸.

⁴ – Until writing this, I had no idea that Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was a children’s book that existed before this journal entry. I’m relatively certain that I never read it, but as much I consider myself a creative person I’m pretty sure I didn’t just invent this type of idea of my own.

⁵ – I am amused by the idea that an entire group of people would just “go poor.” Also, of all places in the world where something like this would happen, Maine seems to be the least likely (note: please don’t ask me to explain the criteria system for this). Next to the word “poor,” I drew an arrow connected to the word “Boo” written in the superscript. Boo indeed.

⁶ – Tony Cavalier was the main weatherman in Ashland during this day and age. As I recall, he wasn’t known for having the most spotless prediction record, but it probably wasn’t easy to come by meteorologists in Ashland.

⁷ – Next to the word “Pizza,” I drew an arrow connected to the word “Ya” written in the superscript. If I meant “Yay,” then I wholeheartedly agree.

⁸ – That would be pretty awesome, especially if it was strawberries and cereal. Next to the word “ceareal” (which might not actually be a word), I drew an arrow connected to the word “Ya” in the superscript.

Third Grade Journal – March 10, 1993

1. Get a bowl

2. Get Milk, Ceareal, Spoon and Sugar⁹.

3. Pour Ceareal into bowl.

4. Put the Sugar on top.

5. Pour milk on¹⁰.

6. If you want something on top put it on top¹¹.

7. enjoy!

⁹ – You know, not every cereal requires sugar. Then again, my Mom loved to buy Crispix and normal Shredded Wheat, both of which are disastrous without a little sugar. Also: is it really that useful to make kids write about instructions for eating cereal in their journals?

¹⁰ – I know it might sound radical, but I am not sure I believe in pouring on milk after sugar. If you put the sugar on first then all of it just gets washed to the bottom of the bowl, meaning that you have to scrape the sugar up the entire time. Milk first, sugar second. That’s the real way to do it.

¹¹ – That goes without saying, I guess. Although I should point out that I didn’t mention these toppings in the instructions until now. There might be a slight deduction for this omission. I’m just saying.

Third Grade Journal – March 11, 1993

Today’s team of the day is the Indiana Pacers. Chuck Person¹² and Reggie Miller play for the Pacers. Chuck Person is fast. He can dribble very well¹³. Reggie Miller has a incredible scoring ability¹⁴.

¹² – Notice that Chuck Person got mentioned before Reggie. Damn straight.

¹³ – He can do everything better than Reggie Miller except catch the ball and throw up prayers! Okay, let’s keep it calm and professional.

¹⁴ – Yes, we’ve been over this…

Third Grade Journal – March 12, 1993

I would like to trade places with a beaver¹⁵. Cause if they made the wall out of wood I would chew through shake hands with all the people then leave¹⁶.

¹⁵ – Of all the things that have changed about me since I wrote these journals, this might be the thing that is most different. Nothing against beavers, but who would want to switch to being a beaver? That seems like a terrible idea.

¹⁶ – Wait, what? If the beavers made a wall out of wood I would chew through it and shake hands with people? What people? The people who are the beavers who made the wall? The people on the other side of the wall made by the beavers? I guess to have to worry about all of these complications when you are a beaver.