March 19, 2010 - Attacking Dragons??!?

Eighth Grade Journal – September 5, 1996

“We Want To Call A Truce¹, You Guys Have Wooped Us Too Many Times.” Kris Pleaded. We Huddled. “No Way. Say No, You Know They’re Lying.” Nate Said². “I Don’t Know, They Seem Serious.” Hearne Said. “Let’s Agree With The Truce, If They Break, We’ll Kick Their Butts!” I Said³. “I Say Go With Guy.” Miller Said. We Walked Towards Them. “Okay, We Will Go With The Truce.” I Said. Then A Loud Screech Came From The Sky⁴. “What The Heck…Dragons!!” Rucinski Screamed. He Tried To Use His Magic, But It Had No Effect. “Dang It!” Kris Yelled⁵. “Time To Test The Truce, Kelleman.” I Said As I Pulled Out Two Crossbows, One In Each Hand. Chris Grabbed A Dagger. He Quickly Threw The Dagger. It Hit One Of The 9 Dragons In The Neck. It Fell To The Ground. Nate Ran Over And Cut Off Its Head With His Sword. “Cool.” Hearne Said⁶. Flare Was Fighting About 4 Dragons⁷. I Took Careful Aim And Shoot Two Arrows. I Hit A Dragon That Was Flying Up Behind Flare. I Reloaded And Took Aim Again. I Suddenly Heard A Flapping To My Right, I Turned And One Of My Crossbows, As It Flew Away, I Fired And Killed The Dragon⁸. The Crossbow Hit The Ground And Went Off. It Shot Into My Shoulder⁹. “AAAGHH!!” I Screamed And Fell Down¹⁰. I Saw Josh Hearne. “Help!” I Yelled. He Heard Me And Ran At Me. He Held His Sword Over His Head And Flung It Over Me Into A Dragon Flying At Me. He Ran Past Me And Pulled His Sword Out Of The Dragon¹¹. “Are You Okay?” Hearne Asked. “Yeah, I Only Was Shot By A Friggin’ Crossbow!” I Yelled¹².

¹ – Dang right they are calling for a truce. As I’m sure you remember, the forces of good (that is, my side) had been thoroughly stomping these evildoers and we were preparing to do so again. I understand that you are excited.

² – Always good to be cautious, always nice for all voices to be heard. All of these characters are so individualized and not cliché or archetypal at all! What a creative mind.

³ – Since I am inexplicably the leader of this group, it’s no surprise that I came up with such a logical, useful solution. Of course, one has to wonder why you would accept a truce with a weaker group instead of just destroying them and going on alone, but it’s better not to think too much about these things.

⁴ – That is really, really scary.

⁵ – Well-explained, as always. I had no idea that dragons were immune to magic. That’s pretty powerful.

⁶ – You have to love moments like this. In the middle of a battle, your friend cuts the head off of a giant, snarling dragon, and the first thought to enter your head is, “Cool.” Notice: there is no exclamation point, so this isn’t about excitement, it’s about observation and description. Well done, guys.

⁷ – Could be three, could be five, all we know is that it is “about four.” Hey, this isn’t bad writing, its accurate for the moment: in the middle of a vicious attack, do you really expect a character to drop everything and count dragons in the sky? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

⁸ – Okay, so I’ll give you my best reading of this sentence since it seems be missing like six words. It appears that an approaching dragon knocked my crossbow loose, but I was still able to squeeze off one more shot before it flew away. Any other interpretations?

⁹ – Pretty brilliant. You know, this is the kind of thing that happens in movies all the time, but you have to wonder how likely it is that a gun or crossbow would fire just because it was dropped to the ground. Also, I love that I apparently wasn’t willing to make myself get hurt by someone else: if I was going to be injured, then it was going to happen with my weapon as a result of a freak accident in which I still killed my foe. Tough to criticize that kind of integrity, am I right?

¹⁰ – I would say that “Aaaggh!” is pretty accurate here. I mean it’s all speculation, but it seems good to me.

¹¹ – That’s a real friend, folks. Can it be any wonder that we’re still friends after all these years? I still need to repay him for killing that dragon that was going to attack me while I was down from a self-inflicted crossbow wound.

¹² – Hilarity!