March 18, 2010 - Tis the Season for Basketball

Sixth Grade Journal – March 9, 1995

If I could change anything about the sixth grade it would¹ that there would be less homework².

¹ – We might be missing a “be” here. Without one it not really a sentence.

² – Is this really such a bad suggestion? I mean, what good has homework ever done. Without it the world might a better place.

Sixth Grade Journal – March 10, 1995

Today I have piano practice from 3:30-4:00 with Mrs. Linda Sturgill³, I have Bryan Lohoff’s⁴ birthday party from 4:30-6:30 at the Garden Roller Rink⁵, and Jay Wonn is spending the night.

³ – In retrospect, it’s kind of amazing that a person is supposed to be able to learn how to play the piano from meeting with an “expert” just thirty minutes per week. Also, Mrs Sturgill’s house had a putting green instead of a front lawn. Weird.

⁴ – Bryan Lohoff as a good friend and a great soccer player. I always thought his parents were a little too straight-laced, so I didn’t spend much time at his house because I felt we couldn’t do anything there. His birthday party was the perfect opportunity to cut loose…

⁵ – And there was no better place for birthday excellence in the tri-state area than the Garden Roller Rink. A little “YMCA,” a little Rampage in the arcade, a little pizza and birthday cake. Oh man, so awesome.

Sixth Grade Journal – March 15, 1995

Kentucky is a state great basketball the Appalachain Mountains⁶. Our state capital is Frankfort. Our state bird: the cardinal, our state flower: Goldenrod, and our state tree: Kentucky Coffee⁷.

⁶ – There might be a missing comma or colon in that sentence. Either that or I’m using the phrase “great basketball” as a verb. I’m always trying to innovate new ways of using the English language, and it’s clear that this legacy goes back a long way.

⁷ – This is a rather awkwardly formatted sentence: I’m usually not the guy who utilizes multiple colons because it’s not my style: but to each their own. It is nice to be reminded of this incredibly useful information, however. Knowing about the Kentucky Coffee is the kind of thing that separates losers from untold millions in the Jeopardy! universe.

Sixth Grade Journal – March 16, 1995

Today is a Star Day⁸! YYEESS!!!!!!!⁹ I am going to my computer class called Advanced Youth Education¹⁰ at 3:30 p.m.

⁸ – Star Days were pretty awesome. Few things fill a schoolkid with hope and energy more than the anticipation of a day that ends at noon.

⁹ – This is an accurate transcription of the number of y’s, e’s, s’s, and exclamation points in the original entry. This blog has a serious dedication to truthful reportage.

¹⁰ – Ah, I’m sure you remember Ashland Youth Education, that gloriously unexplained after-school activity that Mrs Robertson always wanted to know more about. It kind of sucks that I got to go home at noon, check out of school mode and start to relax, only to then leave a few hours later for a glorified computer learning class. Boo.

Sixth Grade Journal – March 17, 1995

Basketball Words:

1 – rebound¹¹ 2 – pass 3 – block 4 – steal 5 – slam dunk 6 – foul 7 – technical 8 – N.B.A. 9 – assist¹² 10 – three-pointer 11 – free throw 12 – charge 13 – blocking 14 – reach 15 – tip-off¹³ 16 – double-dribble 17 – lay-up 18 – N.C.A.A. 19 – N.I.T. 20 – Final four 21 – Elite eight¹⁴ 22 – Sweet sixteen 23 – rim 24 – hoop¹⁵ 25 – backboard 26 – lane 27 – court 28 – jump

¹¹ – Again, look at these priorities: when asked to list words related to basketball, the first thing I list is rebound. It’s all about being scrappy and workmanlike.

¹² – As nice as it is to lead with rebound, it’s not so great that assists don’t make an appearance until number nine. I guess I have the mentality of a big man. Always have.

¹³ – What kind of kid would list something as mundane as “tip-off” (and not, say, “jumpball”) in an entry about basketball terms? The game runs in my veins, I tell you.

¹⁴ – Back in those days I usually called it the Great Eight, but I guess I decided to conform to the more standard language. Maybe I knew that someday I’d be sharing my journal with the world (and by the world, I mean five or six people I’m related to or have been friends with at some point). How weird is that??!?!?

¹⁵ – Rim and hoop? There might be a little double-dipping going on here.