By way of a short introduction to this update, I just want to say that I really don’t have a good idea for what I should do with this blog moving forward. Perhaps I did a poor job pacing myself and should have stuck to only one journal entry per update, but the reality is that all I have left to share with you (other than the passive-aggressive judgments of my robot cartoons) is the contents of my eight grade journal. I really wanted to update before July because I didn’t want to go through a whole month without producing anything, but I’m also not sure where to go from here. I do hope that you enjoy whatever I decide to do, however, and I hope you continue to visit and consider sharing with other people who like cool and weird stuff. I mean honestly, you know that this should really be a web sensation by now. With your help, we can do it. Huzzah!
Eight Grade Journal –
I Picked Up A Sword And Fought A Knight In My Spell1. “Prepare to Die!” The Knight Yelled. He Swiped At Me And I Backed Away. Soon He Had Me Cornered. He Hoisted His Word High Above His Head2. I Took The Chance And Pushed The Sword Deep Into His Chest3. I Pulled It Out and The Knight Vanished. “Cool. I Kicked His Butt.” I Said. Then One Of Those Little Thief Guys Leaped At Me And Stabbed Me In The Leg With His Dagger4. I Sliced Of His Arm And He Fell Down5. I Then Rammed My Sword Into His Stomach. I Limped To Get My Staff As He Disappeared. Then I Realized That The Next Guy Would Be That Strong Dude6. “Oh Crap!!” I Yelled And Tried To Speed Up. I Fell Down7 and Saw Him Appear Between Me And My Staff. He Raised His Arms. I Rolled As He Smashed The Floor With His Punch. I Ran Through The House Trying To Find Luan. “Luan!! Come Here Now8!!” I Screamed. “What Is It Guy9?” Luan Asked. Then He Morphed Into Knightbringer. I Picked Him Up And Went Looking For The Guy.
1 – When we last left off, I had done my friends a favor by using by wizardly powers to conjure up foes to fight and possibly maim them. Inexplicably, however, I decide in this installment to combat said foes myself, which strikes as an uncharacteristic and terrible idea.
2 – That doesn’t seem like a great strategy…
3 – And that’s precisely why. In his defense, however, the only combat tactic I had shown until this point consisted of running away (but obviously not in a terrified or scared manner), so he was probably going by the scouting report. Clearly this is the time when I take over at the dominant offensive force we all know me to be.
4 – Remember, this is what those beasts were supposed to look like, so it’s worse than it might seem.
5 – That is, I Sliced Off His Arm… I readily slice both arms and the English language.
6 – Not That Strong Dude! Yeah…sometimes the creative juices just aren’t flowing.
7 – What the hell is this, Friday the 13th? This isn’t a horror movie, there will be no falling down. It’s beyond cliché at this point.
8 – Yeah, come here so that you can turn into a mace that I can use to smash dudes in the face! You know, the usual!
9 – Honestly, he should probably be used to this by now.
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