October 8 - Doing things, listing jobs, the usual

So I’ve decided to bring us back to a more traditional update. I hope you enjoy these updates. I’ll try to keep things spicy. Hurray, I guess.

Fourth Grade ALP Journal – October 8, 1992
Today I got an A+ on a computer paper¹. We did alot of stuff².

¹ – I don’t even know what a computer paper is.
² – Again, I love the trend where I just state that I did cool things and don’t bother to describe, well, any of things I actually did that were supposedly so cool. Well done.

BONUS ENTRY: Sixth Grade Journal – September 6, 1994
Jobs serving others: Doctor, dentist³, lawyer⁴, banker⁵ or nurse.
Industrial Jobs: Armco, Kentucky Power, AK Steel or Florida Power⁶.
Trasportation Jobs: Airplane pilot, limo driver or bus driver⁷.

³ – Yeah, that’s right dentists, you don’t get capitalized like Doctors. Take that!
⁴ – Lawyer? Poor, naïve Guy. So sad.
⁵ – This entry is a nightmarish attack on the Oxford comma. It is a brutish assault. Please, look away.
⁶ – With one exception, these were all local industries around my hometown. I bet you can’t guess which one is the exception!
⁷ – So if you drive something, you’re in. On a sad note: it looks like I was just capitalizing only the first entry in each list instead of taking a shot at dentists. So many lost opportunities.

BONUS ENTRY: Eighth Grade Journal – September 3, 1996 (continued)
We Looked Over The House And Saw About 40 Barbarians Running Towards Our House⁸. “Let’s Go Kick Their Butts!” Hearne Yelled. Flare Hurled A Fireball, Blocking Them From The House. “Shoot It!” One Of Them yelled. Then An Arrow Flew Into Flare’s Stomach⁹. She Flipped Over And We All Started To Fall. “AAAHH!!” Luan Screamed As He Morphed Into Knightbringer¹⁰. “I”ve Got It. SeungLong¹¹ Fingorium Tansem!” I Said. We Screeched To A Stop¹² In MidAir. “Cool.” Miller Said¹³. We Slowly Lowered To The Ground.

⁸ – It clearly wasn’t enough for me to pit my “good” friends against a legion of my “evil” friends, I also had to include scores of random barbarians or psychos. I’m sure you’ve noticed.
⁹ – A pretty good shot, I’d say. Pretty strong reaction time as well. We might have met our match against this group of forty randoms.
¹⁰ – I’m sure you haven’t forgotten this little gem.
¹¹ – This sounds a little Asian, and thus out of place. Korean, I’d say.
¹² – Screeched to a stop? Who ever heard of that?
¹³ – An appropriate reaction, I feel. As I’ve said before, clearly I had really smart, observant friends.