September 17 - Fall festival and the appearance of Ashley Neikirk

Again, this is one of those days when I only have one actual “journal” entry, so I’ve provided some bonuses for you all. Enjoy!

Third Grade Journal – September 17, 1991
Today is Sept 17 In nine days it will fall festival¹ time Ha Ha² Okay

¹ – The Fall Festival was a big event that put on each year at my high school. It was something of a typical fair, with events and games and hayrides and a haunted house, but I was fascinated by it when I was a kid. I do have a specific memory from this event, however, and that is getting kicked in the face when I tried to stop a kid named Paul from sneaking into the haunted house without paying for a ticket.
² – This particular “Ha” is written in approximately size 300 font, as it takes up the entire bottom half of its page in the journal.

BONUS ENTRY: Sixth Grade Journal – August 22, 1994³
This year in school I want to be elected to the student council⁴, I want to have perfect attendance⁵, I want to make the basketball team, I want to bring in my homework everyday, I want to be a good student, I want to make all A’s, and I want to have FUN!
Yours Truly
Guy Spriggs⁶

³ – This was the first entry in my sixth grade journal. I’m not sure that I made this entry on the actual first day of class, but I do know that the topic obviously involved listing my goals for the year. Except for the results of the student council lesson, I won’t spoil the outcome of my goals for that year just yet.
⁴ – To those who have been close to me, my loss to Ashley Neikirk in the race for school Treasurer is associated with the development of my bitter and critical qualities. I could not understand how I could lose the race to someone who had such inferior math skills. This was a truly crushing blow.
⁵ – Perfect attendance was a big deal for me back in the day. I didn’t miss a day of class until I was in fifth grade. Luckily, my priorities have changed.
⁶ – Next to this entry, my teacher wrote, “Boy, if all your wishes come true, you’ll have a fantastic year!” We’ll see, Mrs Robertson, we’ll see.

BONUS ENTRY: Eighth Grade Journal – August 30, 1996
“How Did You Get Turned Into A Weirdo Like That?” Nate Said. “The Same Way You Got The Armor And Sword.” I Answered. I Turned Around, Coming Through The Portal This Time Was A Giant Dragon. It Landed Beside Nate. “Get On Steel.” It Said To Nate. “Who’s Steel, And Who Are We?” I Asked. “You Are Steel,” It Said To Nate. “You Are Palin⁷.” He Was Talking To Me. “I Am Flare. I’m A Female Blue Dragon⁸. You Are Carmen.” She Said To Miller. “You Are Sterm.” She Said To Hearne⁹.

⁷ – Arguably the most unfortunate name choice in history. This really stings. I guess I’m all stingy! Get it?
⁸ – Similarly, this might be the most awkward and unnatural introduction in history. At this point, it’s hard to believe that this silly high fantasy will eventually be replaced by zombies, vampires, and not so thinly-veiled references to Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight.
⁹ – The entry for this day is very long, but I chose to end here because the next part is (believe it or not) even sillier than the rest of these dealings with armor and dragons and portals. Seriously.

As a special photographic bonus, I have included a picture of the heading for Annoyance I mentioned in a footnote for the entry on September 14, 2009. Thanks again for reading. Tell your friends!