Third Grade Journal – May 5, 1992
Today’s team of the day is the Indiana Pacers1. Reggie Miller2 has incredible scoring ability3 and is first place is4 free throws. His number is 31. Chuck Person is a fast runner and can dribble very well. Chuck Person number is 455.
1 – Again? What the hell was wrong with me?
2 – I’m not going to look ahead, I’m just going to pray that this is the last mention of Reggie Miller. Please.
3 – That supposed ability was all he freaking had! And really he wasn’t even a great scorer, just a great shooter. And even then, only a great catch-and-release shooter. This entry is missing a lot of modifying phrases.
4 – Not a typo. On my part, that is.
5 – First, it still makes me sick that I always made Chuck Person play second fiddle to Reggie freaking Miller. Second, what is achieved by always mentioning players’ numbers? Strange.
Sixth Grade Journal – May 2, 1995
10 advantages of being 65 or older are:
1) 10% off total every Tuesday at Foodland6.
2) Pay less at Movies 10 cinema7.
3) Pay less taxes8.
4) No school!
5) Sleep all day9.
6) Watch T.V. all day.
7) Eat10.
8) No Kids.
9) See Kids11.
10) Take Trips.
6 – In case you aren’t from Ashland (since I mistakenly like to pretend that this blog is read by some people who aren’t fold friends from Ashland), Foodland is a grocery store. Interestingly, there used be a Foodland right by my house, and the first time I ever drove a car was to go and pick up groceries from there when I was fourteen.
7 – I guess it’s an advantage compared to a regular adult, but the senior citizen prices were the same as the children prices back in the day. No advantage over me, olds!
8 – How could I have possibly known about stuff like that when I was eleven years old? Hell, I barely know anything about taxes now. God, I’m such a child.
9 – I do that all the time now. Maybe I’m not a child, but instead a senior citizen. This gets more intriguing by the moment!
10 – Eat. Eat? Either I figured that at some point a person would eat enough that they would be able to life on stored sustenance or this was some sort of cry for help so that Mrs Robertson would realize that my parents weren’t feeding me. There’s a trend here…
11 – A bit confusing, you must admit. I think what I was going for here was that you wouldn’t have to watch or raise your kids, but you wouldn’t be able to visit your family whenever you felt like it. I guess. Maybe.
Sixth Grade Journal – May 4, 1995
Today I have entomology class12, it is very fun and today we are studying hymenoptra’s, (I think)13, and we are going on a bug hunt14.
12 – See, you didn’t believe me when I told you that these enrichment classes were fun. There was a lot of awesome stuff from that year that didn’t even get mentioned once, so this third mention should be all the proof you need.
13 – Weirdest comma clause in history? I think so.
14 – I can’t really imagine what bugs you could find around Hager Elementary. Ashland isn’t exactly a concrete jungle, but I’m not sure we would have found anything other than grasshoppers, moths, or flies. That couldn’t really be that exciting.
Sixth Grade Journal – May 5, 1995
Things that are “cheerful”:
1) Winning McDonalds Monopoly game15.
2) Sleeping in
3) Playing B-ball16
4) Going home from school
5) June 2 (Schools Out)
6) June 9 (My B-Day)17
7) December 25 (Christmas)18
8) Watching B-Ball
9) 19
15 – Oh, how true. It would be very nice if I were sitting on a cool million in the bank. It could be good for you, too. I’m a nice guy, I’d give you a slice.
16 – God I miss playing basketball every day. Mom, if you’re reading this, I’ll never forgive you for taking down my basketball hoop in the backyard. Never!!!!!!!
17 – Mark the date, folks. I accept gifts and/or charitable donations. I can link to my Amazon.com Wish List if you’re having trouble thinking of anything good.
18 – Just in case you forgot the date.
19 – Yet another unfinished list. Oh, what could have been.
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