I would normally feel bad for not updating the blog in over a week (even though I’ve been trying to curb my instinct to lamely announce it at the beginning of each update), but not this time. I could not feel less guilty about sitting around and being as lazy as possible during the first real week of summer. You might be interested to know that this is the first summer during which I am actually working (not counting cleaning trucks and loading beer for my Dad), but I’m not letting it get me down. While summer is my least favorite season (I know you don’t agree, that’s fine), at least we can all celebrate the relative freedom we all may or may not have together. Huzzah!
Sixth Grade Journal – May 9, 1995
Washington Monument1
Adams, John2
Statue of Freedom3
Hope Diamond4
International Court of Justice
National Archives5
George Washington
Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
On top of the U.S.A.6
Natural History Museum
Declaration of Independence7
Cathedral of St. Peter & St. Paul8
1 – I’m pretty sure that this entry was written in anticipation of my school patrol trip to Washington DC, which would explain why there are no entries in this journal between May 10 and May 15. If you weren’t a member of school patrol (known in some circles as the crossing guard) and didn’t get to go to DC in sixth grade, I really feel that you missed out on something special.
2 – I would have preferred “Arlington Cemetery” here, but Adams should not be overlooked (even though he is criminally absent from the monument landscape in DC).
3 – I had no idea what this was, so I had to look this up. In case you are as silly and uniformed as I am, the Statue of Freedom is the bronze statue that sits on top of the US Capitol Building.
4 – The Hope Diamond might the lamest of the all Washington DC attractions. I am more interested in going back to the Subway on Capitol Hill than seeing the Hope Diamond again, and I really don’t like Subway.
5 – This seems like something I would be infinitely more interested in now than I could have been as a kid. I mean, the National Archives? What ten-year-old is interested in the National Archives?
6 – Weeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaak. Granted, I can’t think of anything better, but it’s still weak. Super weak.
7 – By the way, did you know that the Declaration of Independence was primarily written by Thomas Jefferson? Ah, but did you know that the Texas Board of Education doesn’t want Thomas Jefferson to be included as an important American thinker in their curriculum because of his “Wall of Separation” letter? Good thing he’s not arguably the most important thinker and writer in American history, otherwise that would be awkward and stupid. No more soapboxing, I promise.
8 – I don’t really have anything interesting to say about the cathedral in question, but I did want to share a funny story from this trip. We were told to refrain from making phone calls since this trip did involve tons of sixth graders staying mostly by themselves at a Best Western, but that was clearly something that was not destined to happen. I had friends from other schools who really wanted to be able to talk to Lauren Buskey, a popular cheerleader-type from my school, so I found out the number to her room and sold it to interested parties for five dollars a piece. True story.
Eighth Grade Journal – September 5, 1996 (continued)
Seconds Later Kelleman Walked In9. “What The Heck…..” Chris Said. But Was Soon Tackled By Another Person In My Spell, But This Guy Was A Small Thief With Two Daggers10. They All Battled For About 30 Minutes11. Kelleman, Hearne, and Nate Were Dead Tired, But The Guys In The Spell Were Still Going Strong12. “Guy…..Turn These Guys Off.” Hearne Said, Exhausted. I Put Off The Spell. They Fell Down. “I’m…..Gonna..Kick…..Your Butt………Guy13.” Nate Said. Then Josh Miller14 Walked In The Room. “What The Heck Happened In Here?” Miller Asked. Then I Got An Idea15. I Made A Big Bulky Strong Guy16. “Who Are You?” Miller Asked. “A Guy That’s Gonna Kick Your Butt17.” The Spell Guy Said, Then Threw A Punch That Knocked Miller Through The Wall.
9 – When we last left off, I was still resting my injured shoulder (which was injured in the hilarious self-inflicted crossbow wound that I’m not even sure could possibly happen) and casting spells to torture and attack my friends under the pretense of “training” them. Are we all caught up now? Good!
10 – I was a big fan of Cat’s Eye as a kid, and this is probably the image I had in mind . Well, not a little troll that is four inches tall, and probably not so much a jester, but you get what I mean. Maybe. Hopefully. Also, I can’t believe I can’t find a better picture than that, since Cat’s Eye was an actual film that had actual pictures and stuff in it.
11 – That’s quite a battle. Luckily I wasn’t the one who went through the thirty-minute battle, what with my injured shoulder and all.
12 – That’s what magical levels of stamina and conditioning will do for you.
13 – For those of you who are sticklers for accuracy, I assure that those ellipses are reproduced here exactly as they appear in the journal itself. I liked to mix it up, you know?
14 – Also in the interest of accuracy, I should note that “Miller” was written in superscript, most likely in an attempt to keep my Joshes from being confused.
15 – I was really tempted to end the entry here, and I don’t know what compelled me to continue. Arguably a mistake. I can live with it.
16 – Ah, now that’s the kind of idea that would make anyone forge ahead.
17 – I’m a special kind of sorcerer. I don’t just create dudes, and I don’t just create big bulky strong dudes, I create big bulky strong dudes who enjoy engaging in a little smack talk. Psychology, baby.
Excuse my ignorance:
ReplyDeleteWhat is "Cat's Eye?" Is it another relic of my childhood that I've somehow forgotten?
Speaking of which, do you ever hear about a favorite toy of yours from when you were a child and then feel remorseful that you no longer remember it? It's almost like I feel I've somehow betrayed that once-loved item...
Cat's Eye is an 80's film written by Stephen King, made up of three separate stories that all involve the same cat. The last story ("The General") involves a young Drew Barrymore as the victim of a crazy-looking little troll that "steals her breath." The cat tries to ward off the troll, but the girl's mother thinks that it is the cat that is doing everything and not the troll that no one has ever seen. Dumb!
ReplyDeleteRegarding your toy question, I'm not sure I can think of anything quite like that. Can you give me an example?
Apparently, at one point in my childhood I was fascinated by some kind of plastic men with parachutes that were hard to find but I was convinced that they were the most important of all toys.
ReplyDeleteI don't even remember them now.
I feel like I had toys similar to that but didn't like them because I was only interested when they were thrown in the air. If I wanted to set up a huge action figure battle, they would just sit on the ground with their parachutes and be useless.
ReplyDeleteYou might remember that my favorite toys were all fake guns, and that I left my camouflaged bag full of guns in the overhead compartment of an airplane. One of the saddest days of my life.