April 14, 2010 - Eat all breakfast, eat all dinner

Third Grade Journal – April 12, 1992

Today’s team of the day is the Chicago Bulls¹. Michael Jordan is the Best player for the Bulls². He has won three slam dunk championships³. Horace Grant is next.⁴ His number is 23. He is a guard. Horace Grant is a Guard or a forward⁵. His number is 54. Scotty Pippen⁶ is a forward or a guard. His number is 33. John Paxson is a guard⁷. His number is 5. He is a good Field goal shooter⁸.

¹ – This is not a simple repeat. I guess the Bulls were just that good.

² – And I guess I was finally starting to accept the reality that Jordan was the best player in the game. I do still harbor lingering feelings about Larry Bird being the best, but I admit that those feelings might be a little bit silly.

³ – Not so fast there, buddy. Jordan won in 1987 and 1988, but that’s it. If you’ve never watched it, the 1988 Slam Dunk Contest might be the best ever. Just a recommendation.

⁴ – I guess I got a little ahead of myself here.

⁵ – A 6’10” guard/forward? We’re not talking about Magic Johnson here. Also, can I really mention Horace Grant before Scottie Pippen? Really?

⁶ – Apparently Scottie Pippen’s name just confounded me in those days. At least this is closer and less silly-sounding than Scottie Pippien.

⁷ – John Paxson? Seriously, John Paxson? The guy was averaging seven points per game that year. That’s the same as Stacey King, who I’ve never heard of before in my life.

⁸ – One of the most awkward basketball-related phrases ever.

Sixth Grade Journal – April 12, 1995

To keep the peace in my house:

1 – Kill Emily’s dog⁹

2 – Play SNES

3 – Play Sega¹⁰

4 – Eat all breakfast

5 – Eat all dinner¹¹

6 – Play Game Boy¹²

7 – Read

8 – Play on computer¹³

9 – Sleep

⁹ – I don’t really recall hating my sister’s dog that much, but there’s no real way to misread this statement. Next to this part of the entry, Mrs Robertson drew a line and a question mark. Is it really that hard to understand?

¹⁰ – That’s a lot of video game playing. It would have been mostly The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and Baseball Simulator 1000 on the Super Nintendo, and Sonic the Hedgehog and Golden Axe on the Genesis. Awesome.

¹¹ – I thought that “eat all breakfast” meant eating breakfast for every meal until this part. Maybe I wanted to eat everything prepared for every meal so I could have it all and there would be nothing left for anyone else. Nah, that can’t be.

¹² – More video game playing? On the Game Boy I would have been playing Tetris and Final Fantasy Legend (which I was dreadfully terrible at and didn’t understand at all).

Eighth Grade Journal – September 5, 1996 (continued)

I Whispered A Small Spell¹⁴ And A Giant Blue Hand Came Out Of My Staff. It Gripped Hearne Really Tight And He Dropped His Sword And Shield. “AAAHH! Let Me Go You Moron!” Hearne Yelled. I Stopped The Spell And He Fell To The Floor¹⁵. “Guy, I’m Gonna Kick Your Butt!” Hearne Said¹⁶. “How About I Train Your Swordsmanship.” I Said. “Yeah Right. How Are You Gonna Train Me?” Hearne Asked. “Not Me. Him¹⁷.” I Said, And Pointed To His Right. My Next Spell Made A Huge Knight In Armor With A Sword And Shield. He Attacked Josh and Hearne Fell Into The Wall. “Crap!!” Hearne Yelled. Nate Tried To Hold The Knight So Josh Could Get His Sword. But The Knight Threw Nate On The Floor¹⁸. Nate Picked Up His Sword And Ran To Hearne’s Side. I Made Another Knight That Looked The Same Appear¹⁹.

¹⁴ – When we last left off, I was resting my injured shoulder (you know, the one I hurt when I dropped my crossbow and shot myself), failing to improve my swordfighting skills because of my cowardice, and antagonizing/attacking those taking care of me by casting spells.

¹⁵ – What a nice guy, eh?

¹⁶ – If you were ever wondering what it was like in the apartment when Josh and I lived together, this should give you a pretty good idea. Sure, it was volatile and somewhat violent, but we got through it.

¹⁷ – Zing! Didn’t see that coming, did you?

¹⁸ – One would think that Nate would know better than to rush a magical knight. Poor form, sir, poor form.

¹⁹ – Evening the odds! I can’t handle the suspense!