As you might be able to tell, I’ve been struggling to keep update the blog regularly,1 and I am starting to think that part of the blame lies with my decision to create a short series – which has now become a pathetically long series – on the worst states to drive in. I believe this is the case for two reasons:
1 – It is really irritating to just sit and write about the things that piss you off and then analyze why and how they piss you off.
2 – It is not as easy as transcribing a journal entry written by a silly kid.
So, in an effort to make it through this summer without losing my fanbase,2 I am going to redouble3 my efforts and get this blog back into fighting shape. I am going to dig back through my journals and find entries for ridiculing,4 I am going to finish the worst states to drive in series,5 and I’m going to unveil another awesome project…the Summer of Redemption!6
This idea came up during a recent discussion when I was telling one of my friends – that is, one of the aforementioned friends who suggested that she has not only read my blog but actually kind of liked it (shocking!) – about how I had been revisiting a lot of movies and books that I had previously read and disliked to see if I still felt the same way. I explained that some of my opinions had changed, and since I am clearly in dire need of a kickstart around here, my friend told me that I should include these efforts to redeem these prior works of film and literature in my blog.
What this all means is that I can kind of maybe promise7 that I’m going to shake things up around here instead of posting every other month. Huzzah!
Until next time, here is a little dose of my eighth grade journal to hold you over. Enjoy!
Eight Grade Journal –
(Complaining)
Jenni Makes Me Soooooo Mad.8 She Expects Me To Treat Her Like A Queen. She Says The Reason Why She Steals My Stuff, Cusses Me Out, And Hits Me With Stuff Is Because She Wants Me To Date Her.9 She Thinks She Can Make Me Feel Bad By Beating Me in The General Knowledge Test.10 I’ll Probably Quit The Quick Recall Team Because of Her.11 The Main Reason I’m Leaving Ashland For McCallie (Knoxville, Tennessee)12 Or Lexington Christian For High School Is To Get Away From Her. Chris K Really Ticks Me Off. Then Jenni Found Out I Was Leaving And Made This Huge Conspiracy Against Me Called The “Idea.” The “Idea” Is Some “Nice” Thing That They Are Going To Do For Me Or To Me.13 I Think The Idea Is Something Bad That They Want To Do To Me. A Reason For This Is I Heard Jenni Tell Eileen And Tasha That She Wanted To Play A Big Trick On Me Before I Left. I Was Talking To Chris K And He Swore That He’d Tell Me The Idea If He Found Out. Now He Knows, But He Won’t Tell Me.14 It’s Like His Word To Jenni Is More Important Than His Word To Me. I Think He Is Secretly In Love With Jenni.15 Why Else Would He Break His Word To me To Keep His Word To Her? I Hate Jenni. I Hate Eileen. I Hate Tasha. I Hate Jessica.16 They Steal Stuff From Me, Call Me Names, Cuss Me Out, Write Stupid Notes To Me, And Hit Me With Stuff
1 – Read: struggling to not be a lazy bastard.
2 – Which, by the way, I was thrilled to learn that I actually have. Having my friends come up to me and tell me that they enjoy reading the blog really made my day. Thanks to all of you.
3 – I only use this as a turn of phrase. We all know it’s going to take far more than twice as much effort to accomplish anything around here.
4 – Because let’s be honest: that’s why we’re all here.
5 – Just in time for summer to come to an end…
6 – Which, given my dedication to projects, is likely to become the Several Years of Redemption.
7 – That’s all the attachment or responsibility I can really muster at this point. Sorry?
8 – This is going to be something of a theme for the next 277 words or so. Strap in. Also, if you are Jenni: I am so sorry.
9 – In my defense, she did do all of those things. Also in my defense, her attempts to demonstrate her attraction (?) for me can’t be explained in any rational or sane way.
10 – If I assume this was her plan – which it clearly wasn’t – it appears to have worked.
11 – I doubt it. Bad bluff, kid.
12 – Or
13 – This part is hard to explain without me sounding like a huge jerk and/or douche. My friends planned a very sweet going-away party for me (which my Mom spoiled by telling me that I needed to “get dressed up” for what she assured me was a simple errand), but their secrecy made me question their intentions. I probably could have found it within myself to give them a little more credit. I still have the video of the party, by the way. Very touching stuff.
14 – This is a clear violation of the “bros before hos” policy. And yes: this rule applies even in eighth grade.
15 – I know it’s easy to assume that this is everyone else’s motivation for every thing they do, but this was an impulse I should have worked on curbing earlier in my life.
16 – So Jenni was in pretty good company, since I counted the girl I was completely smitten with in the list of girls I hated. Only an eighth-grade boy. Genius, I say.
17 – Because this was the time in life when there were no really good reasons not to go out with someone?
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