November 23 - Mrs Maxwell and misnomers

There’s been a lot of stuff going on lately, so I actually have some semi-legitimate reasons (that is, excuses) why I haven’t been able to update much lately. Hopefully this will make up for it. I make no promises for the Thanksgiving break, but I’m going to try my darndest to get something up tomorrow night and maybe even something during the break itself. Here goes.

Third Grade Journal – November 20, 1991
Today is Nov 20 The Soccer Game¹ on Sunday the Rebels played the Wild ones. WOLF, SQUIRREL², Turtle, Car, Dog and Duck Play for the WILD ONES. GOOSE, BEAR, COYOTE, TIGER, LION³ and Cheetah Play for the Rebels.
The game started. The Wildones⁴ won the coin toss.
The Rebels kicked off but did not kick it downfield BEAR KICKED It infront of tiger. Tiger kicked it to Lion. Lion kicked it to Goose. Goose kicked it to COYOTE.⁵ COYOTE KICKED IT to Cheetah and Cheetah scored! The score was 1-0. The Wildones kicked of WOLF kicked It to the 5 yard line⁶ were SQUIRREL SCORED⁷. 1-1.
The Game is OVER⁸

¹ – As you will soon see, my younger self has taken some liberties with the idea of a “soccer” game.
² – I can only assume that the players with their names in all-capital letters are the stars. Hell, I don’t really know.
³ – I find your lack of serial comma use disturbing.
⁴ – Perhaps a unique nickname for the “Wild Ones.” I mean why keep words separate when you can just jam them together? That’s what I thought.
⁵ – This is some serious, engaging play-by-play action. And people wonder why “soccer” can’t make it in America.
⁶ – Yeah, not so sure that third grade Guy knows exactly what’s going on here. I mean sure, there is a five-yard line on a soccer field, but…oh never mind.
⁷ – That’s what we call a quick answer. The Wildones have a very serious offensive attack.
⁸ – First, I love that I recorded what has to be the shortest soccer match in history. Second, the word “OVER” here takes up an entire page on its own. Third, this entry doesn’t even mention the Thanksgiving spread I drew on the opposing page, complete with “Bear shaped Cranberry sauce.” That year I drew pictures of Thanksgiving foods and handed them out in the days before Thanksgiving so our class could have Thanksgiving together. This is the part where you go “awwwwww…”

Sixth Grade Journal – November 14, 1994
A.L.P.⁹

⁹ – There is an ALP entry for this date, and it reads: “I really like the A.L.P. class today.” Riveting.

Sixth Grade Journal – November 15, 1994
Dear Mrs Maxwell,¹⁰
Thank you for teaching me everything I know, I owe you a lot, including how to add, subtract, write, spell,¹¹ and teaching me how to be a good, disciplined, smart student all in 1st grade,¹² thank you very much!
Love,¹³
Guy Spriggs

¹⁰ – Mrs Maxwell was my first grade teacher, and she was my absolute favorite (only matched by Mrs Walker in fourth grade). She left the year after I finished her class, and I was incredibly sad.
¹¹ – That’s a lot of valuable stuff. She also taught the serial comma, I see. Very nice.
¹² – What I didn’t learn was how to stop comma splices and run-on sentences. Nobody’s perfect, I suppose.
¹³ – Yeah, that’s right. I was sweet on her. On a more serious note, imagine how you would feel if you were a teacher and one of your students wrote this flowery letter about how much he loves a previous teacher. Pretty awesome. Take that, Mrs Robertson.

Sixth Grade Journal - November 16, 1994
“Koala bear” is a misnomer because it isn’t a bear, it’s a marsupial.¹⁴

¹⁴ – True. Not particularly interesting, but true. I wonder if the “name a misnomer” journal entry was a plot specifically designed to make us spend more time thinking about the stupid Australian crap in Mrs Berrong’s class.

Sixth Grade Journal – November 18, 1994
All the teachers at Hager.¹⁵

¹⁵ – Next to this entry, Mrs Robertson wrote, “What was this topic?” I love that she did this regularly without just checking what other people wrote in their journals. I’m not bending to your rules, Mrs Robertson, you’ll just have to figure out the damn entry by yourself! Clearly the topic was “People who Mrs Robertson makes me hate.”

In case I don't update again: please have a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading.