It's not even Christmas!!!!!

Eighth Grade Journal – December 13, 1996

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(Complaining)

This Is Not A Personal Note To Any One Teacher, Because I Write In My Journal To Calm Myself Down¹ And Not Go Off Like A Bomb.² I Am Never The Only Person Talking, But Always The Only Person Called Down For It.³ Everyone (Including Students) Find It Fun To Pick On Me.⁴ I Have Been Called Down This Year More Times Than All Other Years Combined⁵…And It’s NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS!!!!! I Have Not Been That Bad Of A Student.

Special Bonus!!!⁶ – Nosferatu

NOSFERATU Critique

Nosferatu, a movie with many similarities to Bram Stoker’s Dracula,⁷ is a tale of love, heartache, and great danger. This silent horror film centers around a pair of newlyweds, who are broken up when the husband must go into the “Land of Demons” so that he may sell a house, conveniently right across the street from his, to the vampire Nosferatu.⁸ Of course, the husband is unsuspecting and has no idea of the grave danger he is about to encounter.

The acting in Nosferatu could from some aspects be called less than spectacular. A viewer cannot expect much from one playing the part of a vampire, especially a vampire with buck-teeth like Nosferatu⁹, to have much depth. Nosferatu, however, displayed the best skills for acting his character, and following his motivation, however simple it was. The bride was strictly for emotional complexity, and a target for the vampire.¹⁰ Her part was silly and overplayed, but what can you expect, it’s not like they can talk or anything.¹¹

For the pivotal role the film played in the evolution of horror, this film has left a lasting impression on me.¹² Though primitive compared to film techniques and technology today, Nosferatu is exciting and very enjoyable. The story draws the viewer in, and the acting makes the film a classic.

Guy’s Film Rating:¹³ *** ½ out of 5

¹ – Sure buddy…that’s why you do it. It’s not because you are a young, budding master of all passive-aggressive techniques.

² – I am consistently amazed by the number of things I wrote in these journals that would get me in unbelievably amounts of trouble if written today.

³ – Seriously bro, getting “called down?” What is this, a bad parody of the 1950’s? Ugh.

⁴ – This kind of annoying self-pity really gets in the way of your passive-aggressive training. Focus, buddy!

⁵ – Obviously my memory is not that reliable, but this seems pretty much true to me. I never got in trouble at all until I was in the fifth grade, and even then it was nothing compared to the hell my teachers put me through in middle school. They were not my biggest fans.

⁶ – Perhaps I should explain. Since I am practically out of journal entries (save for the “Annoyance” story you’ve been enjoying and the “Complaining” sections from eighth grade), I thought it would be worthwhile to share the movie reviews I wrote for the cinema class I took in high school. If you’re interested in movies or amused by my general silliness, I think you’re in for a treat.

⁷ – Just a coincidence, I’m sure. Also, I know you dig the combination italics and underline. Groundbreaking.

⁸ – I don’t want to be too hard on the writing of a high school kid, but I’ll give a dollar to the first person who can name all of the grotesque grammar errors in this sentence. I think you’re going to be counting for a while.

⁹ – I really am trying to follow the logic here. You can’t expect much from someone playing a vampire, but you definitely can’t expect much if the vampire has buck teeth? Yeah kid…that makes tons of sense.

¹⁰ – Way to be a sympathetic, understanding, critical viewer. This is the kind of mindset that movie studios try to cater to in this day and age.

¹¹ – Yeah, those silent movies always have characters that are silly and overplayed. That’s practically the defining characteristic of the genre. Silent film = Silly film.

¹² – I’ll give you a dollar if you can convincingly tell me that this sentence makes sense to you. You watch a film, and your innate understanding of where that film fits in cinematic history is what leaves a lasting impression on you? I have no words.

¹³ – If you want my advice (and I know you didn’t ask for it), I’d pay particular attention to the ratings I give to these films. There’s real bang for your buck there.