May 19, 2010 - Wildwood Park?

Sixth Grade Journal – May 16, 1995

Verity is very big, very neat¹, and very challenging. I should already know, I go every Monday². My expectations are high, I want to be in 8^th grade Algebra³, but if I don’t make it, I’ll take Pre-Algebra⁴.

¹ – Verity wasn’t the easiest, but I’m not so sure about it being so neat. Or maybe I meant that Verity was cool (you know, like “That place seems neat!”). No one knows for sure.

² – How great is the tone in this sentence? I mean really, what’s better than this?

³ – Those are some high expectations, buddy. Algebra? As a seventh-grader? Dream big!

⁴ – I did end up taking pre-algebra, but I love the idea that I would willingly take the class as if I had any sort of choice. I remember taking the placement test to get into algebra at Verity and hearing that I missed the cut by one point. This, however, is one of those things that I remember remembering (if you follow me), thus making me doubt whether or not it actually happened. Intrigue!

Sixth Grade Journal – May 17, 1995

Some government words are:

1) bill 2) right 3) tariff⁵ 4) yah⁶ 5) nay 6) house of representitives⁷ 7) congress 8) executive 9) judical⁸ 10) president 11) vice president⁹ 12) judge

⁵ – Tariff? This was written at the end of the twentieth century. Who talks about tariffs?

⁶ – That is, yay.

⁷ – That is, House of Representatives. There’s an “a” in that word, self.

⁸ – That is, judicial. That’s an “a” in that word, self. Interesting pattern here.

⁹ – Don’t worry about capitalizing any of those terms. It’s not like you’re describing the leaders of the free world or anything. No respect!

Sixth Grade Journal – May 18, 1995

Today in school we’re going to Wildwood Park¹⁰ for 4-H day camp¹¹. We didn’t go because there was a storm¹².

¹⁰ – I was going to say that Wildwood Park was a pretty awesome place, but as much as I try I can’t really remember it. I was initially confusing it with Armco Park (which is awesome, if only for its proximity to Crisp’s), but then I looked it up and found that it’s actually off of 29^th Street in Ashland. Hell, right now I’m not even sure I could find the place.

¹¹ – Thankfully, I am certain that I remember 4-H camp being awesome. In particular I recall learning to make ice cream by filling a bucket with ice and salt, then filling a smaller bucket/jar with milk, sugar, and vanilla, placing the smaller bucket inside the larger one, and rolling the whole thing along the ground. It was badass.

¹² – This sentence is confusing for a few reasons. First, it’s written in the same handwriting and looks almost exactly the same throughout, so it doesn’t appear that I wrote the latter half after finding out that we weren’t going. Second, it’s also possible that I meant to say that we didn’t go before (meaning that the trip was originally scheduled for an earlier date) because there was a storm. Third, it is possible that we never went to Wildwood Park at all. Of course, if we never went that would explain why I don’t remember where Wildwood Park is.

Sixth Grade Journal – May 19, 1995

My favorite memory was last year when I made the “Spring Sing Singers” solo group¹³.

Name:

Guy Spriggs¹⁴

¹³ – Clearly not that great of a memory, because I don’t ever remember the Spring Sing Singers or being a part of any solo group until I was in middle school. Also: music can be very cool.

¹⁴ – I’m not sure why, but this entry had a box around it as I was planning to cut it out and hand it to someone as a card. That might explain why I signed the bottom of the page, but it wouldn’t explain why I wrote “name” above my name.

May 15, 2010 - On top of the USA

I would normally feel bad for not updating the blog in over a week (even though I’ve been trying to curb my instinct to lamely announce it at the beginning of each update), but not this time. I could not feel less guilty about sitting around and being as lazy as possible during the first real week of summer. You might be interested to know that this is the first summer during which I am actually working (not counting cleaning trucks and loading beer for my Dad), but I’m not letting it get me down. While summer is my least favorite season (I know you don’t agree, that’s fine), at least we can all celebrate the relative freedom we all may or may not have together. Huzzah!

Sixth Grade Journal – May 9, 1995

Washington Monument¹

Adams, John²

Statue of Freedom³

Hope Diamond⁴

International Court of Justice

National Archives⁵

George Washington

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

On top of the U.S.A.⁶

Natural History Museum

Declaration of Independence⁷

Cathedral of St. Peter & St. Paul⁸

¹ – I’m pretty sure that this entry was written in anticipation of my school patrol trip to Washington DC, which would explain why there are no entries in this journal between May 10 and May 15. If you weren’t a member of school patrol (known in some circles as the crossing guard) and didn’t get to go to DC in sixth grade, I really feel that you missed out on something special.

² – I would have preferred “Arlington Cemetery” here, but Adams should not be overlooked (even though he is criminally absent from the monument landscape in DC).

³ – I had no idea what this was, so I had to look this up. In case you are as silly and uniformed as I am, the Statue of Freedom is the bronze statue that sits on top of the US Capitol Building.

⁴ – The Hope Diamond might the lamest of the all Washington DC attractions. I am more interested in going back to the Subway on Capitol Hill than seeing the Hope Diamond again, and I really don’t like Subway.

⁵ – This seems like something I would be infinitely more interested in now than I could have been as a kid. I mean, the National Archives? What ten-year-old is interested in the National Archives?

⁶ – Weeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaak. Granted, I can’t think of anything better, but it’s still weak. Super weak.

⁷ – By the way, did you know that the Declaration of Independence was primarily written by Thomas Jefferson? Ah, but did you know that the Texas Board of Education doesn’t want Thomas Jefferson to be included as an important American thinker in their curriculum because of his “Wall of Separation” letter? Good thing he’s not arguably the most important thinker and writer in American history, otherwise that would be awkward and stupid. No more soapboxing, I promise.

⁸ – I don’t really have anything interesting to say about the cathedral in question, but I did want to share a funny story from this trip. We were told to refrain from making phone calls since this trip did involve tons of sixth graders staying mostly by themselves at a Best Western, but that was clearly something that was not destined to happen. I had friends from other schools who really wanted to be able to talk to Lauren Buskey, a popular cheerleader-type from my school, so I found out the number to her room and sold it to interested parties for five dollars a piece. True story.

Eighth Grade Journal – September 5, 1996 (continued)

Seconds Later Kelleman Walked In⁹. “What The Heck…..” Chris Said. But Was Soon Tackled By Another Person In My Spell, But This Guy Was A Small Thief With Two Daggers¹⁰. They All Battled For About 30 Minutes¹¹. Kelleman, Hearne, and Nate Were Dead Tired, But The Guys In The Spell Were Still Going Strong¹². “Guy…..Turn These Guys Off.” Hearne Said, Exhausted. I Put Off The Spell. They Fell Down. “I’m…..Gonna..Kick…..Your Butt………Guy¹³.” Nate Said. Then Josh Miller¹⁴ Walked In The Room. “What The Heck Happened In Here?” Miller Asked. Then I Got An Idea¹⁵. I Made A Big Bulky Strong Guy¹⁶. “Who Are You?” Miller Asked. “A Guy That’s Gonna Kick Your Butt¹⁷.” The Spell Guy Said, Then Threw A Punch That Knocked Miller Through The Wall.

⁹ – When we last left off, I was still resting my injured shoulder (which was injured in the hilarious self-inflicted crossbow wound that I’m not even sure could possibly happen) and casting spells to torture and attack my friends under the pretense of “training” them. Are we all caught up now? Good!

¹⁰ – I was a big fan of Cat’s Eye as a kid, and this is probably the image I had in mind . Well, not a little troll that is four inches tall, and probably not so much a jester, but you get what I mean. Maybe. Hopefully. Also, I can’t believe I can’t find a better picture than that, since Cat’s Eye was an actual film that had actual pictures and stuff in it.

¹¹ – That’s quite a battle. Luckily I wasn’t the one who went through the thirty-minute battle, what with my injured shoulder and all.

¹² – That’s what magical levels of stamina and conditioning will do for you.

¹³ – For those of you who are sticklers for accuracy, I assure that those ellipses are reproduced here exactly as they appear in the journal itself. I liked to mix it up, you know?

¹⁴ – Also in the interest of accuracy, I should note that “Miller” was written in superscript, most likely in an attempt to keep my Joshes from being confused.

¹⁵ – I was really tempted to end the entry here, and I don’t know what compelled me to continue. Arguably a mistake. I can live with it.

¹⁶ – Ah, now that’s the kind of idea that would make anyone forge ahead.

¹⁷ – I’m a special kind of sorcerer. I don’t just create dudes, and I don’t just create big bulky strong dudes, I create big bulky strong dudes who enjoy engaging in a little smack talk. Psychology, baby.

May 6, 2010 - Mysteries revealed!

Third Grade Journal – May 5, 1992

Today’s team of the day is the Indiana Pacers¹. Reggie Miller² has incredible scoring ability³ and is first place is⁴ free throws. His number is 31. Chuck Person is a fast runner and can dribble very well. Chuck Person number is 45⁵.

¹ – Again? What the hell was wrong with me?

² – I’m not going to look ahead, I’m just going to pray that this is the last mention of Reggie Miller. Please.

³ – That supposed ability was all he freaking had! And really he wasn’t even a great scorer, just a great shooter. And even then, only a great catch-and-release shooter. This entry is missing a lot of modifying phrases.

⁴ – Not a typo. On my part, that is.

⁵ – First, it still makes me sick that I always made Chuck Person play second fiddle to Reggie freaking Miller. Second, what is achieved by always mentioning players’ numbers? Strange.

Sixth Grade Journal – May 2, 1995

10 advantages of being 65 or older are:

1) 10% off total every Tuesday at Foodland⁶.

2) Pay less at Movies 10 cinema⁷.

3) Pay less taxes⁸.

4) No school!

5) Sleep all day⁹.

6) Watch T.V. all day.

7) Eat¹⁰.

8) No Kids.

9) See Kids¹¹.

10) Take Trips.

⁶ – In case you aren’t from Ashland (since I mistakenly like to pretend that this blog is read by some people who aren’t fold friends from Ashland), Foodland is a grocery store. Interestingly, there used be a Foodland right by my house, and the first time I ever drove a car was to go and pick up groceries from there when I was fourteen.

⁷ – I guess it’s an advantage compared to a regular adult, but the senior citizen prices were the same as the children prices back in the day. No advantage over me, olds!

⁸ – How could I have possibly known about stuff like that when I was eleven years old? Hell, I barely know anything about taxes now. God, I’m such a child.

⁹ – I do that all the time now. Maybe I’m not a child, but instead a senior citizen. This gets more intriguing by the moment!

¹⁰ – Eat. Eat? Either I figured that at some point a person would eat enough that they would be able to life on stored sustenance or this was some sort of cry for help so that Mrs Robertson would realize that my parents weren’t feeding me. There’s a trend here…

¹¹ – A bit confusing, you must admit. I think what I was going for here was that you wouldn’t have to watch or raise your kids, but you wouldn’t be able to visit your family whenever you felt like it. I guess. Maybe.

Sixth Grade Journal – May 4, 1995

Today I have entomology class¹², it is very fun and today we are studying hymenoptra’s, (I think)¹³, and we are going on a bug hunt¹⁴.

¹² – See, you didn’t believe me when I told you that these enrichment classes were fun. There was a lot of awesome stuff from that year that didn’t even get mentioned once, so this third mention should be all the proof you need.

¹³ – Weirdest comma clause in history? I think so.

¹⁴ – I can’t really imagine what bugs you could find around Hager Elementary. Ashland isn’t exactly a concrete jungle, but I’m not sure we would have found anything other than grasshoppers, moths, or flies. That couldn’t really be that exciting.

Sixth Grade Journal – May 5, 1995

Things that are “cheerful”:

1) Winning McDonalds Monopoly game¹⁵.

2) Sleeping in

3) Playing B-ball¹⁶

4) Going home from school

5) June 2 (Schools Out)

6) June 9 (My B-Day)¹⁷

7) December 25 (Christmas)¹⁸

8) Watching B-Ball

9) ¹⁹

¹⁵ – Oh, how true. It would be very nice if I were sitting on a cool million in the bank. It could be good for you, too. I’m a nice guy, I’d give you a slice.

¹⁶ – God I miss playing basketball every day. Mom, if you’re reading this, I’ll never forgive you for taking down my basketball hoop in the backyard. Never!!!!!!!

¹⁷ – Mark the date, folks. I accept gifts and/or charitable donations. I can link to my Amazon.com Wish List if you’re having trouble thinking of anything good.

¹⁸ – Just in case you forgot the date.

¹⁹ – Yet another unfinished list. Oh, what could have been.

May 1, 2010 - Cerberus is pretty big

Sixth Grade Journal – April 25, 1995

Cereberus¹

Cereberus is the three-headed dog that guards the chambers of the underworld leader Pluto². He is mean and enjoys eating people, he will not eat anyone who bears him gifts. He loves barley cake³. Cereberus really dislikes anything living. He has done his job since the underworld was created⁴, Cereberus is pretty big.

Cereberus has three heads and looks like a Rotweiler. He is mean, ugly, and has three big sets of teeth⁵. Its enemies are anything living that makes it into the underworld. Cereberus is always mad⁶ and he get to munch on human bones for doing a good job. He permits spirits⁷ to enter the underworld but not to leave.

¹ – That is, Cerberus.

² – According to Wikipedia, Cerberus was actually tasked with guarding the entrance to Hades, making sure that the living cannot enter and preventing the dead from exiting. Nevertheless, I have this image of him standing outside of Pluto’s “chamber” like an actual watchdog.

³ – I think this was from the Psyche myth, but I could be wrong. As a side note, I really really go back to reading Greek mythology more often.

⁴ – I’m not sure that this is the case. I couldn’t really find anything about the “origin” of Cerberus in the underworld, but it’s hard to imagine that he wasn’t there from the beginning.

⁵ – There might be a little bit of repetition going on here. Just saying.

⁶ – I think that might be an unfair characterization. It seems natural to assume that he’s unpleasant because he eats people and lives in Hades, but maybe he’s happy and fulfilled in his life and work.

⁷ – And spirits only, as I’m so you have gathered from the fact that it’s underlined.

Sixth Grade Journal – April 27, 1995

Today I have enrichment classes⁸, I have CAT/5 testing, and Evan M. is coming over⁹.

⁸ – See, they must have been really fun if I mentioned them again.

⁹ – It’s hard for me to remember the chronology perfectly, but this must have been before Evan and I had our falling out over the fact that I had a crush on his girlfriend. Sad but true.

Sixth Grade Journal – April 28, 1995

My feelings about achievement testing are that I think that I did well in math but I think I did terrible vocabulary and memory¹⁰.

¹⁰ – What can you really say about an entry like this? I mean, I used to be pretty good at math and now I still have a relatively underwhelming vocabulary. And memory? I think this blog shows exactly how much (or how little) I really remember.

Sixth Grade Journal – May 1, 1995

My most prized possessions are my 4 basketballs signed by the ’91, ’92, ’93, and ’94 Kentucky Wildcats basketball team¹¹.

¹¹ – My Dad always won various signed basketballs (as well as the previously mentioned trips with the team) as auctions like Big Blue Madness (or Big Blue Bash or Midnight Madness or whatever it might have been called at any other time). Of course, I got one of them signed myself during one of those trips…and then dribbled it so much over the course of the weekend that I wore off all of the signatures. Genius!